Mentoring
By Jody Abrams
Recently I had the opportunity to support
a colleague and friend through Gastric
Bypass Surgery. I don’t know
about you, but it has been my experience
that most folks I’ve met along
the way through the OCC are more than
willing to give of their time. I’ve
always been able to ask for and receive
support whether it’s from staff
or from a fellow patient. I’ve
always wanted to make myself available
to others as a result so that they can
get from me what I have gotten from someone
else and so on.
It’s been a little over two years
since I had the procedure. Sometimes
I find myself struggling with the fact
that the rapid weight loss I had enjoyed
has now slowed down. I am always
afraid of regaining weight. Sometimes
my appetite is greater than at other
times and when I am hungry I think, “Oh
my God…I’ve stretched my
pouch!” I have to say that
having had the experience of mentoring
Portia though this process, I feel a
sense of being grounded again.
Portia is approximately six weeks out
of surgery now. I remember her
saying, “I will just be grateful
if I wake up.” I think this
is a developmental process we all go
through. I remember feeling the
exact same way. I just wanted to
survive the process and then I promised
myself I would take it one step at a
time. The next thing you know,
the weight has dripped off of you and
you find yourself preoccupied with “skin” whether
or not to invest in new clothes.
I am of the opinion that it is normal
to have a healthy fear and respect for
the notion that we all can regain the
weight if we don’t continue to
learn and to maintain our new lifestyle
in our new body. I also think that
it’s easy to forget about the sense
of gratitude we’ve developed out
of our experience with this process. Mentoring
a friend or even a stranger is a great
way to be reminded about what is important. Are
you drinking the water? Are you
drinking the CIB? Are you exercising? Are
you writing down what you’ve eaten? Are
you reading food labels? Are you
reaching out to others for support? The
answers to these questions are some of
the small steps that keep us whole.
When Portia came home from the hospital,
she asked me what I had been eating after
surgery and how much, so I pulled out
my first food diaries and read them to
her over the phone. She listened
intently as if I were reading her some
steamy novel. One day she called
me kind of panic stricken…”What
do you put in your broth?” “My
broth?” I replied, “Yes…your
broth.” “I don’t
put anything in my broth… I
just open the can.” “Well, I don’t
eat canned broth. I make everything
from scratch. I don’t know
what you are allowed to put in the broth.” I
remember swearing at Portia. “Who
makes their own broth?” I huffily
inquired. She said proudly, “I
do.” I’m thinking to
myself, yeah right after surgery I had
the mad desire to get up and cook over
a hot stove….NOT! Portia
told me that it made her feel good to
be able to do something good for herself. We
laughed about it. I’m still
laughing about it.
The experience of mentoring Portia through
the surgery has been wonderful for me. It
has provided me with focus and has allowed
me the ability to get back my sense of
gratitude. If you know someone
just starting out in the program offer
him or her a hand. It will make
you feel good. It’s made
me feel great. Thanks, Portia.
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